SPN - In My Time of Dying question

[agt_spooky]

So I was watching In My Time of Dying last night (and no matter how many times I've seen it, I still get teary-eyed at John's final scenes with his sons) and I've got a question that I've been wondering about since the episode first aired.

When Sam is in Dean's room for the first time, the doctor comes in and says that John is awake. Next we see John asking Sam what the doctor said about Dean's condition. Sam and John have their conversation and as Sam gets up to leave, John hands him that piece of paper. John says it's items for protection against The YED, but we then find out it's actually items to summon the YED.

Now here's my question - if John didn't know about Dean's condition prior to Sam telling him, why did he have that list already made up? He didn't know Dean was dying. He wouldn't already know he was going to summon the YED to make a deal for Dean's life.

So...why was that list already made up? Are we supposed to think that the doctor told John about Dean's condition before Sam came in and that John was just pretending he didn't know? Because really, why would John want to summon the YED with one son barely hanging on to life, another really beat up and himself in a hospital bed with a gunshot to his leg and his arm in a sling? None of them were in any condition to have what Sam called a "macho showdown" with the YED.

Am I the only one who wondered about that pre-prepared list? Or am I just missing something and it makes perfect sense to all of you? :-)

Any thoughts? Would love to hear them!

Comments

[dairwendan.livejournal.com]

I don't believe that John ever intended to summon YED just to kill him or have some 'macho showdown' as Sam says. If so, he wouldn't have gone to Meg while sending the boys to Rosie's nursery. He would have just summoned the demon to the mnotel room and offed him right there. All he needed was the list of things he'd need to sumon the demon, which he obviously already had memorized, and the colt, which he had finally gotten just then.

Maybe he knew that YED would be a little too smart for that, wouldn't respond to being summoned if he knew John was going to shoot him? Maybe John always knew there might be something even greater that he could use the summoning for? I think John wouldn't have tried so hard to keep the demon inside him nor would he have ordered, pleaded and begged Sam to shoot him if he thought there was any chance he could just summon YED and shoot him.

At any rate, I think that John made the list as soon as he woke up, because he knew Dean was already near death when they put him in the car, and he didn't know Sam's condition, so one or both of his sons could be dead or near death, and the only way to do anything about that was to make a deal.

Then I think as soon as he saw a doctor or nurse he asked about his sons and was told that Dean was touch and go. So the quickest way to make the deal was to send Sam to get the ingredients from Bobby. But had Sam also been too injured to leave the hospital, he would have pulled his ass outta that bed immediately, on sheer will power alone, to get that deal made before either boy was too far gone.

I think that Sam jumps to his conclusion because he can't believe his dad is even thinking about the Demon while Dean may be dying, he was also offended that John asked about the colt. Because the thought of Dean being in pain, dying or being gone is too traumatic for Sam to even collect his thoughts in the same way that John does. All he can think about is Dean. He can't find a connection between Dean and the demon so he finds it cold that John would be thinking about the demon, because to him thinking about the demon means NOT thinking about Dean.

John being John, he isn't about to explain his actions. But even if he were inclined to, he knows that Sam being Sam, his son would first refuse to allow John to take such a risk. Then once convinced it was the only way to save Dean, would insist on coming with John. And he would never take no for an answer, because he has this odd stubborn streak from somewhere. So this is why he tells Sam that the stuff on the list is for protection. He wanted to get that stuff as quickly as possible and he didn't have time for argument.

Anyway, that's my take.