I could really use some advice
Feb. 16th, 2016 05:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
agt_spookyAfter doing a round of self-edits on my new ebook, I read it through again yesterday and I'm considering throwing in the towel and not publishing it. I was like, "what was I thinking when I wrote this" and "I'm going to get ripped to shreds in reviews". I sat down and wrote up why I'm feeling this way. I would be very grateful if you guys could give it a read and just leave me a simple Yes or No answer if you think I should continue on and publish it or not. You don't even need to leave an explanation if you don't wish. I just need to know if my fears are unfounded or not.
********
Several of my close friends know that I've been plagued with self-doubt since I started writing this book. Why? Because it's very far outside my comfort zone. This is not my normal angsty, fluffy, first time romance. But I think it's good to challenge yourself as a writer, so when the idea for Broken Soldier came to me I decided to give it a shot. And it's been rough. But I've worked hard and I've written the longest book I ever have, which I was proud of.
The problem started when I shared the basic concept for the book with several people. And I received three comments all along the same lines of, "Your good guy has sex with the bad guy? And drugs play a part in the story? I don't think readers are going to react favorably to that."
While on one hand I'm glad this was mentioned to me *before* I actually published the book, it honestly dumbfounded me. Because…why? It's made very clear that one of my heroes (who is an established relationship with the other hero) is on an undercover mission and he has to get close to the bad guy. And that involves having sex with him. There is NO non-consensual sex in this book. The hero has sex with the bad guy willingly because that's his mission, even though he hates it. He is NOT betraying his partner or cheating on him. The partner knows full well what's going on, even though he hates it, too. And the drugs come into play as part of the mission, too, and become a major focus as the hero becomes an addict in the process of completing the mission.
I guess I don't understand why these aspects are a hot button for some readers, with the explanations I give for the hero's actions. I based this storyline on the years I've spent taking citizen police academy classes and listening to the stories detectives tell about their undercover work. About how far they're willing to go. You become a completely different person. You HAVE to. You might end up sleeping with someone who's not your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband. If in the process of infiltrating a drug cartel or gang you need to take drugs yourself to apprehend your target, maintain your cover or save your life, you DO it. Because it's your JOB.
Which is why undercover work is so dangerous and some detectives crash and burn under the strain and it ends up destroying their real lives. And that's what the last part of my book is about - the aftermath and the healing that the heroes need to do.
All I could think about was those three comments as I read through the book last night. Please, guys, tell me honestly - would you NOT read this book because of those aspects? Am I wasting my time with this and just opening myself up for a hell of a lot of backlash if I publish it?
Is there a way I should rewrite my blurb to make things more clear?
~~~~~~
Sergeant Connor Finley and Sergeant Shawn Weller are dedicated soldiers working covert ops for Shadow Unit - a joint UK/US anti-terrorism task force.
They had been through hell together for the last four years and come out standing side by side. But when their latest undercover op to bring down an arms dealer plunges them into a world of drugs, sex and violence, Shawn must literally get in bed with the enemy in order to complete the mission. And Connor is forced to watch, helpless, as his partner is broken into pieces in the process.
Will love be enough to put them both back together or will this be their final mission?
~~~~~~
Thoughts? Opinions? Thanks so much for reading all of this!
********
Several of my close friends know that I've been plagued with self-doubt since I started writing this book. Why? Because it's very far outside my comfort zone. This is not my normal angsty, fluffy, first time romance. But I think it's good to challenge yourself as a writer, so when the idea for Broken Soldier came to me I decided to give it a shot. And it's been rough. But I've worked hard and I've written the longest book I ever have, which I was proud of.
The problem started when I shared the basic concept for the book with several people. And I received three comments all along the same lines of, "Your good guy has sex with the bad guy? And drugs play a part in the story? I don't think readers are going to react favorably to that."
While on one hand I'm glad this was mentioned to me *before* I actually published the book, it honestly dumbfounded me. Because…why? It's made very clear that one of my heroes (who is an established relationship with the other hero) is on an undercover mission and he has to get close to the bad guy. And that involves having sex with him. There is NO non-consensual sex in this book. The hero has sex with the bad guy willingly because that's his mission, even though he hates it. He is NOT betraying his partner or cheating on him. The partner knows full well what's going on, even though he hates it, too. And the drugs come into play as part of the mission, too, and become a major focus as the hero becomes an addict in the process of completing the mission.
I guess I don't understand why these aspects are a hot button for some readers, with the explanations I give for the hero's actions. I based this storyline on the years I've spent taking citizen police academy classes and listening to the stories detectives tell about their undercover work. About how far they're willing to go. You become a completely different person. You HAVE to. You might end up sleeping with someone who's not your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband. If in the process of infiltrating a drug cartel or gang you need to take drugs yourself to apprehend your target, maintain your cover or save your life, you DO it. Because it's your JOB.
Which is why undercover work is so dangerous and some detectives crash and burn under the strain and it ends up destroying their real lives. And that's what the last part of my book is about - the aftermath and the healing that the heroes need to do.
All I could think about was those three comments as I read through the book last night. Please, guys, tell me honestly - would you NOT read this book because of those aspects? Am I wasting my time with this and just opening myself up for a hell of a lot of backlash if I publish it?
Is there a way I should rewrite my blurb to make things more clear?
~~~~~~
Sergeant Connor Finley and Sergeant Shawn Weller are dedicated soldiers working covert ops for Shadow Unit - a joint UK/US anti-terrorism task force.
They had been through hell together for the last four years and come out standing side by side. But when their latest undercover op to bring down an arms dealer plunges them into a world of drugs, sex and violence, Shawn must literally get in bed with the enemy in order to complete the mission. And Connor is forced to watch, helpless, as his partner is broken into pieces in the process.
Will love be enough to put them both back together or will this be their final mission?
~~~~~~
Thoughts? Opinions? Thanks so much for reading all of this!
